Day Eighteen

I was learning a new spell today (Flash Heal -- at least now I've finally got a proper hælmancer spell, except that all I can do is heal myself, not others, which makes it largely useless), when I got a message from the local defense that Goldshire was under attack.  I wasn't sure what to do, least of all how I got the message.  I was just about ready to finally look into the Fargodeep mine (what has it been, more than a week?), but I figured that since I was an acting deputy, I better get down there.  Probably a bigger priority than looking for rat-men.

I ran my ass off to get there, but of course, as soon as I made it, nothing was happening.  Actually, that's not true.  I ran into a duel, but thought it was something happening.  An orc vs some human mage were twirling around each other.  I thought it was an invasion like in Northshire, and I tried to help, but I couldn't target the right one fast enough.  I tried calling for help but no one responded, and then the fight was over.

And I ran into Goldshire and nothing was happening. There was even a squadron of troops marching horses through the town.  And now I've figured out why no one's responding to me, but villagers with odd requests.  I don't think anyone can hear me.

I think there's two types of people here.  Citizens of the village who are almost like mechanical men, and real people.  And those with strong magic power.  Those were the ones in Stormwind with giant beasts and armor that could pound through a mountain.  I was shouting and no one could hear me.  Maybe they can only hear those at their level of power.  Maybe they've evolved to a point of being god-like, and I am like a peon.  Maybe I'm like an ant to them, but they share the world with me, so their forced to tolerate my presence.  Like mosquitoes buzzing in the ear.  Maybe that's what mosquitoes are to me.  This is quite the mind-blower.

I guess I wouldn't listen to anyone either if I was riding an undead armored gryphon skeleton

Anyway, after I ran back to Goldshire for nothing, I ran back to Fargodeep mine for nothing.  Yeah, after all this build-up for exploring the mine, I went in two caverns, decided that "yup, there's kobolds here".  Of course, I could have done that a fortnight ago, because there were kobolds crawling all over the entrance, scattered in-between the farms I kept running between fixing all their petty problems, in the bathtub, jumping out of Gramma Stonefield's blouse.  Yeah, pretty sure I see the kobolds.

And Dughan looks at me and goes "Hmph, interesting... maybe we ought to go look at Jasperlode Mine.  Which is even farther away.  And by we I mean you."

I hate this place.

--Caden Watkins

Day Seventeen

Because this area can't figure out how to deal with its own problems... I mean granted they're difficult tasks, like walking from one farm to the other, delivering mail. You know, stuff a mage should have to deal with. This is what I've been training for all my life. Shooing away piggies from a vegetable garden. When do I get my lands and title?

"Auntie" Bernice Stonefield thinks that little Billy Maclure stole her necklace. Billy has conveniently forgotten anything about the necklace, because he's too hungry to remember. But gee whiz, some pork belly pies would hit the spot. And who makes the best pork belly pies? Auntie Bernice. Awkward. And she needs some boar meat. Should chop up Princess again.

Got the pies to Billy, and he suddenly remembered "playing" near the Fargodeep mine. Well, goddammit, that's where I wanted to go in the first place. And he said some big "gold-toothed" kobold picked it up. Well, luckily I'd run into Goldtooth before, and third time's the charm. Gave back the necklace and got some pants. Uncle Stonefield's pants, specifically. Who forgot them on his last campaign *sniffle*. I'm going to have an interesting wardrobe when this is all said and done.

Who gets pants and boots for payment? I want some money.

--Caden Watkins

Day Sixteen

Ma Stonefield got me up this morning and told me she needed "Princess" killed. It took me ten minutes trying to figure out what she was talking about. I feel like I'd heard her name before. I think someone near Westfall made some mention for her. Was that one of the crimes that serial killer Clark was guilty of?

Anyway, there was no difficulty finding Princess. The boar was as big as me, and had a big old pink ribbon on its front haunch. Ma wanted me to bring her brass collar back as proof, but I thought maybe I should take her back to the Brackwells, they must miss her. But then I thought, well, its probably going to come back to life anyway. What's the point? So I killed it swiftly, brought the collar back, and Ma gave me some farmer boots. Yay.

I should mention that yesterday, on my way to Crystal Lake (I seem to remember reading a story or a comic roll in my world about The Killer of Crystal Lake -- should I be worried?) I got attacked by murlocs. I'd say I was in over my head but water puns aren't funny. I even ran past a Stormwind guard who was there for gods knows why, and the maggot wouldn't lift a finger. He just stared into the water. Thanks a lot, jerk.

-Caden Watkins

Day Fifteen

When I got to the Lion's Pride Inn, there was a "dwarf"/"little person" next to Farley, named Moniq.  I didn't want to say anything, but it sure looked like they were in a relationship.  And I didn't ask questions, but my mind goes to places like 'how do they kiss?' 'does he have to reach everything on the shelves'?  I blame my alchemist friend for this system of thinking.

Back to the farms.  After talking to Julia Stevens, who is a pet trainer in snakes ("Do you like my snakes?  I get the feeling they don't like you!"  Creepy.) I got the letter from Maybell (I finally figured out the protocol for selling things back to vendors) and walked to Stonefield farm.  Then Tommy Joe wanted me to talk to "Gramma" Stonefield.

Then "Gramma" wanted me to talk to a guy back at the inn.  Then the guy at the inn wanted me to get some kelp so he could make an invisibility potion so the young lovers could sneak out.  And who keeps kelp?  Murlocs.  Also not pushovers.

Oh, and here's some fascinating news about magic that no one told me.  Magic can't be cast without a  wand.  So I had this billy club I'd picked up in the forest, and was hoping it would make a better weapon and I sold my "long lost" wand.  But apparently I need it to do anything.  So I got into a nice desperate situation when whatever I tried failed miserably.

I got the kelp, got the potion, gave it to Maybell and she disappeared.  Couldn't have happened to a finer farm girl.   I can't wait to meet their seventeen lyre-pickin' babies.

--Caden Watkins

Day Fourteen

I am my own worst prophecy. Remember how I said my backpacks were filling up? Now it's at the point where I can't even hold a letter.

Staying in the Maclure house, I met Maybell Maclure. She wanted me to deliver a letter to Tommy Joe Stonefield of the rival Stonefield farm whom she's fallen in love with (ah, young love). I said sure, why not, I'm just the errand boy to the world. Don't make no never mind to me.

But I couldn't even keep the letter. It kept falling off the barrels of apples and pork meat in there. So I sheepishly had to say "Guess I better sell some of this off. Just one second." But I have no idea how to find a vendor who would buy things from me, not just sell things. It's not like they have a separate line for each.

In the meantime, while I was looking for some help I somehow got roped into doing more tasks for Dughan. He didn't even ask about Fargodeep mine. (By the way, this was after another citizen told me to talk to Dughan, like I'm a messenger boy too). He just wanted me to wander off west to a bridge to ask some more guards about more monsters in the area. But this time he offered up his Stormwind charger. Before I could ask what a charger was, he'd set me on it (it was a horse) and I was zipping off.

At the bridge, I asked some questions of the guards and got even MORE tasks on my plate -- go find an arsonist/murderer, protect the forest from bears and wolves, fetch some murloc fins, find some lost guards. I politely told them, much as I wanted to do all this, I still had some lingering tasks back in the Elwynn forest. Except that the horse that brought me here (and it was a long way, and I've been doing a lot of walking lately) was no where to be found.

Then I remembered I had the hearthstone from the Lion's Pride Inn. Farley said it could bring me back any time I wanted, so I started rubbing it, looking ridiculous. But it worked.

--Caden Watkins

Day Thirteen - Southern Elwynn Forest farms

I went through my inventory and realized I have quite a lot of junk.  Well, not junk, but things I've picked up from the few scrabbling animals I've killed.  Shed furs from worgs and the like.  What I'm wondering is what do I do with those.  Is there someone I can sell them to?  I haven't found anyone in Goldshire wanting to accept them yet.  But I could use the money.

A kobold.  They smell as attractive as they look.

I started heading south.  I thought maybe it was time to actually start performing my duties as an acting deputy of Stormwind.  Mostly fields.  Then I headed toward a lake and saw a weird humanoid.  At first I thought he was a lizard man, but then I thought "oh, THIS is a kobold".  They're more like rats or moles.  They look like they're miners, with pick-axes and candles on their heads.  They're ugly enough that no wonder Dughan needed someone to come investigate.  They'd all run away.

Well, these ones don't run away.  In fact, they're quite happy to come up to you and start swinging.  They're not pushovers like the Blackrock clan orcs or goblins.  Must be hearty from all that mining.  And fire-resistant if they've got candles on their heads.  Then I wandered on one's den, up on a hill.  He was cooking and counting out gold... bottles or something.  And he jumped on me.  Almost would have fallen if I hadn't remembered the new spell I learned.  Instead of a shadow word, this is a power word : shield.

And it is extremely effective.  I didn't feel a thing while the spell was in effect, allowing me to take my time, no matter how many kobolds joined the fight (which one or two did).  As soon as I dispatched Goldtooth and recovered, I went back into the den to see if there were any valuables I missed.  And lo and behold, there was Goldtooth again.  I wish I could say I was surprised, but I wasn't.  I'm getting too accustomed to this waterwheel afterlife.  I hope that if I go back to my own home, I won't accidentally do something stupid, thinking I'm immortal.

The vineyards

Somewhere in this southern area is the Maclure Vineyards.  I was talking to the local vintner when a bear came up and started attacking me.  And he kept on talking!  Damn thing's slashing my face off and he's still jabbering about wine.  I'd say he was sampling his own wares, but doesn't anyone react in this place?  Am I a ghost?

I ran inside the cabin to escape it, thinking I'd be safe, and it followed me in!  It still kept attacking me!  Shouldn't there be safeguards against this sort of thing?  It's not I like baited it in or anything.

--Caden Watkins

Day Twelve - Goldshire

Argus accepted his delivery gracefully, but I had been away so long that I felt I had to avoid Marshal Dughan's gaze.  I kept my head down or snuck around back buildings to avoid him, because I still hadn't even started investigating the Fargodeep mine for Kobolds (still don't know what they are).  There were other things I needed to do first, like basic survival tactics such as learning first aid.

Hard part was finding the one who teaches that sort of thing.  There are people in Goldshire who teach you to fish, to cook, to hunt, to smith weapons, to smith armor, to make jewels, tan leather, engineer things, enchant things, alcheme things (wouldn't that be a trip -- come back knowing as much as my alchemist friend).  But I couldn't find the person who taught it -- she was in the upper floor of the inn.  But I had to search the town, talk to a dozen other trainers, WHILE it was raining.

Then the great thing was all I learned was how to make a linen bandage for the first lesson.  Money well spent -- a trained monkey can make a cloth bandage.

--Caden Watkins